Wednesday, August 15

Thoughts on Time

I wish it was time.  Time for a lot of things. Time for graduation. Time for a house.  Time for walks with strollers and time for my sisters to all be married so that it can be time for us all to have kiddos and time for them to all play together while we sister-moms sit together and reminisce and talk about our pregnancies, husbands, friends and kids. Time to decorate my house and pick paint colors and bedding and dressers and time to go thrifting to find the perfect decor. Time for mister to have a career and a real paycheck and time to not feel guilty for spending any small amount of money.
Sheesh, can't it just be time?

God doesn't usually let us have everything we want, exactly when we want it. Sometimes we have to prove to him first how bad we want it, and show him how hard we are willing to work for it. Sometimes He still never gives it to us. Sometimes after a lot of waiting, He does.

Sometimes other people's lives seem so much greater than our own. And we get mad and jealous. And then everything we thought we had going well for us seems to disapear or not matter at all. Being grateful for what we have, appreciating those things, and not comparing are amazing cures. I know they are. But apperantly I'm an awful person and those things are really hard for me. 

Life isn't fair. That's the simple truth. My dad always told me that if life was fair we would all have been born in some place like Ethiopa and we'd all be starving. Because that's how literally millions of people live. My life is so richly blessed that I can't imagine life without electricity and indoor plumbing and ipads and cell phones, much less without food.

So why, when my life is literally so perfect, am I still discontent? Why can I not be blissfuly happy with God's timing, because I really do know that His is best. Why, despite all I have been blessed with, that I fully understand I do not deserve, am  still left wanting. I want to know, (as Davy Keith, from Anne of the Avonlea would say).

I know it's my problem. Not anyone else's. That's a good thing to be able to admit. So I think I'll just go and be grateful and pefectly happy for other people when great things happen to them.

Well. I think I am feeling more appreciative and grateful already.
Glad I got that out of my system.


  1. You are perfectly amazing to me. You are so right that God provides all of our NEEDS, not so much our wants, but our NEEDS. When our needs are met then everything is just icing on the cake. You are truly a breath of fresh air Missy and I know that at this point, right now, is a kin to SENIORITIS....You are a so close to the end of all of this hard work. Keep plugging along the road is really going to bend soon and before you know it - YOU WILL BE THERE!!!!

  2. Love how you express what most of us have felt at some point, often over and over in different situations. But I love what was said in the recent Ensign... to remember that wherever we are in life we are "in the middle" and THAT means, "it's TIME!"..... time to live NOW the freedom of just the two of you, and the limited responsibility, and the wonder of being in a "learning" environment as you attend college and expand your mind and skills, and also your associations. There are so many wonderful aspects of this phase of life. Try to appreciate and enjoy them for someday you may miss them.
    I love you.


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